My name is Genesis but my friends call me Gen.
I am 29 years old and from PNG – a proud mom to a set of 3 year old amazing twin boys and a beautiful 1 year old baby girl.
I started a personal blog mainly due to the urgings of my friend Janelle and also because the issues/ struggles I face, have hit a nerve with other women/ moms who face the same, day in and day out.
What do I mean by that?
I am referring to the challenges of being the women that we are in our respective organizations, taking the lead in our offices and being good at it too – being appreciated for that from everyone on the outside looking in.
Then coming back home; having to come back to the reality of being told not to raise your voice, not to have an opinion, not to even be noticed.
I am fortunate – I am blessed even.
God has given me a good man – one that respects my voice, one who works with me, one who supports me both professionally and in our home.
What am I talking about?
Recently I was told off about how the partnership my husband and I have in our home is “not right”.
He was ridiculed for helping out with his kids, for bathing, feeding and changing them.
We were told, “It isn’t right to always listen to a woman and for him to take control and start giving more orders.”
“We were told, this isn’t some developed country we live in – its PNG and this isn’t right.”
We were both taken aback – these are exactly the kind of sons we want to be raising and I am proud of their father for the stance that he is taking, leading by example.
We want to have them know that they are helpmates to their future partners and that it IS OK to help raise their own kids, by the side of their wife.
As for my daughter, this is exactly the woman I want her to be in future – one who is strong, has both the career and the family and knows that society can never dictate who she is or her place.
It’s so easy to just say everything is straight forward black and white, and outline womens roles and mens roles but this isn’t true or applicable so much anymore.
There are now even men who stay at home as full-time care-givers while the mummy is the breadwinner.
Long custom side, I know mi pikinini meri (Traditionally speaking, I know I am a female).
That’s not all there is to me though.
I am a good mother to my kids.
A usual day entails me coming home straight from work, letting the sitter off and then starting dinner.
I feed my kids, wash them, put them to bed and that’s all on less than 5 hours of sleep each night working a 5am shift.
And if my husband chooses NOT to ignore the cries of his children and help me out – then that is the decision he makes for his kids.
If he can look past the traditional roles issue and accept me by his side as a mutual breadwinner for our family then so be it.
I am sick and tired of some people telling him he should be more of a man.
Truly, what better way is there to prove his manhood but to actually ACT like the man he is and take up the responsibility.
And no, I don’t consider myself superior to him or disrespect him for all the above, instead it makes me love and respect him all the more.
Because that is the father of our children trying to set a good example for our babies and raise them to better cope with the changing society that is now life and the world we live in.
For at the end of the day, what kind of parents would we be – if we didn’t?